In our new “modern workplaces” employees
are encouraged to make their workplace a home away
from home. Most employees spend so much time at the
office; the lines are easily blurred between their
work lives and personal lives. But to protect all
you’ve worked for you may want to be selective
about what, and how much, you share.
Talking openly about your personal life, making yourself
an open book for all to see, can be an insidious snare
primarily because it seems so harmless. Everyone does
it. Employees talk about their divorces, their medical
problems, their kids, personal difficulties, and even
financial challenges. Most not only share personal
information often inappropriate for work, but much
of it tends to be negative and puts them in a less
than flattering light.
What most employees don’t realize is that any
information they share will affect the company’s
perception of them. The company won’t separate
the personal from the professional, they’ll take
it all in and judge accordingly.
Personal information shared at work has cost employees
promotions, kept people from receiving the best project
assignments, and even caused some to be flagged as
a potential risk.
This can seem strange and unfair to most, but put
yourself in a manager’s shoes for a moment and
look at it from the other side: A manager has been
listening to one of her key employees tell everyone
about his terrible divorce and all that’s going
on with it. A big project comes up. The manager may
feel she’s doing her distraught employee a favor
by passing him up for the opportunity. She may be
thinking: “This employee is having to deal with
so much in his personal life right now, how could
I give him a big project that will only add to his
stress?” Or, even worse: “I’d be crazy
to give him an important project when he can’t
even manage his personal life effectively.”
The harsh truth is: whenever a manager assigns an
important project, or otherwise puts her faith in
one of her employees, her reputation is on the line.
Her success depends on how well she delegates. She’s
not going to jeopardize her success for an employee
dealing with personal “issues.” She just
can’t.
People think it’s funny to share crazy stories
about their family life, how they just can’t
control their teenager, fight all the time with their
spouse, or have to take a certain drug that makes
them forgetful. It’s not funny to your employer.
It does make a difference in how they view you, and
thus in their decision making processes.
Beware the “office support group” syndrome:
Your company would like you to believe they will
be supportive of all aspects of your personal life,
but they can’t. And they won’t.
A marketing professional with a demanding schedule
was frightened. He had been experiencing terrible
back pain and was just told he would need a risky
surgery. It was all he could think about and couldn’t
help but talk about it. He talked about it on a daily
basis with his co-workers and boss. He requested time
off, told the company he wasn’t sure he would
be able to return once the surgery was over, and looked
for support from anyone who would listen. He openly
expressed concerns about his ability to work effectively
and appeared visibly shaken every day. Everyone felt
badly for what he was going through, but other feelings
had crept in as well.
The company decision makers were starting to become
just as frightened as their employee was – but
for different reasons. He was responsible for critical
company contracts for a company that was running too
close to the red to afford to lose even one.
The company openly supported him, listened to his
concerns, and gave him the time off he needed. But
while he was on leave recovering from surgery, the
department was reorganized and his position was eliminated.
Didn’t know a company could do that to an employee
on disability or medical leave? They absolutely can,
as long as the job loss is due to external “unrelated”
factors (more about this in the next chapter). In
this case, the company realized their financial success
was too dependent on one person and they needed to
restructure for more diversified financial protection.
The company had to completely reorganize the marketing
department and restructure the employee positions,
but that was more agreeable than taking a risk on
their future.
It takes a court order to release medical records
for a reason. Your employer should know very little
about your personal medical issues. It is your right,
and your best protection, to keep that information
private.
When difficult personal situations arise it’s
natural to reach out for the support of others. Unfortunately
the workplace is not a safe place to do that. Telling
the people you work with how frightened you are over
a health situation may provide some needed support
from co-workers, but it will also scare your employer.
A company will worry you might leave them in the lurch
at a critical time, go on disability for weeks on
end, or take medication upon your return and not be
able to meet client deadlines. Companies today simply
run too lean to be able to easily absorb these kinds
of risks.
A company has to protect itself against the loss
of a productive or key worker. And “key”
doesn’t just mean high-level. In today’s
compressed work structures, any position can be considered
critical and “key.” There are no more safety-nets,
there are no extra workers to fill in for you. It
doesn’t mean a company doesn’t care about
you and your needs. They do. But they have to care
about the company and the livelihood of all the other
people working there first. They know if they don’t
put the company’s demands and interests first,
there may not be a company. Very few organizations
have the resources any more to help their employees
in times of need without doing damage to the organization
as a whole.
When facing a personally difficult time, you shouldn’t
have to worry about scaring your employer, but that
is the sad reality of too many of our overstretched
workplaces. . .
- How to notify your company/boss of important personal
issues that may impact your job performance without
risking all you’ve worked for
- Even Good News Can Be Bad News
- The Parent Trap
